GOL?

by Kam Raslan

Once again Paul the octopus got it right. He said Spain would beat Germany and he was spot-on. What a lot of people don’t know is that Paul the octopus sits in a coffee-shop in Kepong with a handphone in each tentacle. You wouldn’t know it by looking at him but he’s actually very rich even though he drives an old Nissan. He knows who will win every match. Oh yes, he knows.

And he’s not the only one. One month ago I filled in my World Cup predictions and I am pleased to announce that I, Kam Raslan, predicted that Spain would meet the Netherlands in the final. I got everything else completely wrong (England were supposed to get into the semi-final, beating Germany in a glorious penalty shoot-out along the way) but I got that right. The Netherlands have not only not lost a match in the finals, they also didn’t lose a match during the qualifications campaign. And Spain have been superb. They might not have scored many goals but their possession football has been thrilling. I could have happily watched it for hours. During the second half of the semi-final match I decided to count the number of times Spain misplaced a pass. The ball only failed to reach its intended target on two occasions. Twice! How do you beat that? Both Spain and the Netherlands deserve to be in the final because they are the best. I want these two teams to be there and finally we are going to have a new country win the World Cup.

But how do you square the success and style of Spain, Netherlands and Germany with perceived national and racial stereotypes? Brazil is the land of exuberant, pulsating samba and carnival so it’s only appropriate that they play the beautiful game at its silky best. The passionate tango came from the slums of Buenos Ares so it’s only fitting that Diego Maradona came from there also. But Italy is the land of Ferrari and Fellini, it’s supposed to be a place where style and hot emotion go together, where the heirs to the Gucci millions try to have each other killed. And yet they play football of eyeball bleeding, coma-inducing stultifying tedium. Individually Italian players can be wonderful (Zola, Vialli, Del Piero, etc) but watching Serie A has much the same effect as drinking a Milo before bedtime.

Who would imagine that the stolid, bourgeoisie of Germany could play such dangerous counter-attacking football, that the Dutch would be so strange and argumentative, and that Spain, the land of afternoon siestas, could dominate a match with possession football and, get this, have an unbreakable defence? It is as if, and this might sound odd to some Malaysians, some people are not satisfied with being the sum total of their perceived national/racial stereotype. It is as if they want to be so much more. It is as if they will do whatever it takes in order to win. It’s also a sign that my stereotypes are all wrong.

It’s probably impossible to describe a national temperament and then to suggest why it should lead to success or failure. We can read anything we want into something as abstract as a nation or a race. A recent article in a local Chinese daily tried to explain why England always fails and Germany always wins. I couldn’t read the article myself but it was described to me. Although I agreed with most of it I felt that it said more about a middle-class Malaysian Chinese worldview than anything else. Basically, success is only worth anything if it involves effort. Clearly, I am, er, not middle-class Malaysian Chinese.

In his excellent book Brilliant Orange, David Winner tried to understand the enigma of Dutch football. He came to many conclusions but one of the more interesting and perhaps fanciful is that the Dutch have a unique relationship with space. Being from a densely populated country that lives with the constant danger of inundation by the sea the Dutch, Winner suggests, understand the preciousness of land itself. Therefore the football team seeks to utilize every inch of the pitch. Whereas the English want to bisect the pitch as quickly as possible in a vainglorious, crowd-roaring attack the Dutch will patiently but inventively criss-cross every inch, creating a myriad of patterns that others do not see, because others take land and space for granted. Interesting, but it doesn’t explain why Johan Cruyff (my all-time favourite footballer) is so spectacularly arrogant.

Spain is currently experiencing a very rich vein of sporting success. They are dominating in cycling and tennis as well as football, and I have no explanation for this. But I would like to posit a possible explanation for German success.

In Malaysia we are more familiar with the English game so German success might seem more extreme because it is compared to constant, abject English failure. Germany should be the most successful European nation. They have the largest population, the biggest economy and football stadiums (though generally smaller than their English equivalents) are always full. The Bundesliga has several technical advantages: refereeing is in line with international standards and they have had the Jabulani ball all year, etc. But there is perhaps a deeper reason for success.

I’ve spent a bit of time in Germany recently (love the place, love Berlin) and I regularly heard two words that I never normally hear: Pedagogical and Rationalism. Pedagogical is not just about teaching but about the study of teaching. It’s not just who you teach but how. In certain countries education is a haphazard affair where quotas must be fulfilled and degrees are often worthless. But in Germany they take education seriously and a qualification must be useful and worth something. Footballers are trained from an early age. I once saw Rudi Voeller training young German kids in the art of the step-over. He had a legion of kids in ranks practicing the move again and again. Brazilians learn this barefoot in the slums. In Germany they are trained in nice Adidas boots.

Rationalism basically means that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. If you have decided to approach a task then it only makes sense to do it and to do it well. It stands to reason. Having grown up in England I learnt the skills of getting out of doing things – the graceful arts of slacking off, facetiousness and getting away with it (I once said that my cat ate my homework). In Germany I constantly met people who simply got on with the thing they were supposed to do, because it’s rational. And they did it while wearing sharp Hugo Boss suits.

It’s probably impossible to neatly encapsulate a national temperament. We’re all different and we don’t always fit into our perceived national/racial stereotypes. But we can learn from the systems employed for success. Having said that, I don’t know if I want to live in a country that wins everything. China wins lots of Olympic medals, but at what cost? And North Korean TV has probably announced that they have won the World Cup. For me it is about how you win, which is why I am delighted that Spain and the Netherlands are in the final. They play the most attractive football and they have shown us that artistry and skill can win.

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